James O'Neill's Blog

October 11, 2008

I, Assassin.

Filed under: Uncategorized — jamesone111 @ 11:54 pm

[Another one of those looping posts for the weekend]

I’ve been feeling a bit of pressure to get some stuff written and getting increasingly grumpy about the amount of background noise. Working on something last weekend, I lost it with the family because “I can’t hear myself think”. I’ve told several people that recently that the hubbub in our hotdesk area has got to the point that I come to the office to meet people, but to do work I stay at home. Reading Sharon’s blog I came across chatter blocker. Something jumped out of the page at me. ChatterBlocker may also be helpful for Asperger syndrome (with sound sensitivity). I’ve had a few people suggest to me that I might have Asperger’s . To be frank I don’t care if I do or not though it might explain things for other people.  I did an on-line survey which suggests I might: (one question is “I often notice small sounds when others do not.”)

One of the questions  in that survey was “I usually notice car number plates or similar strings of information.”. I do. If I see a truck with its company’s name – say “Jones of Cumbria” , and a phone number – say one with a 01228 dialling code I’ll work out that 01228 is the code for Carlisle. (2  is ABC, so 22 is AB, AC, BA, CA – nowhere in Britain begins AA, BB, BC, CC or CB. But Cambridge, Aberdeen, Bath, Barnsley all have codes beginning 012. ) On Monday, Exchange gave me missed a call notification and then a voice mail from an 01246 number. I couldn’t play back the voice mail (I was sitting in a training session) – who wanted to call me?  2 is ABC, 4 is GHI so that’s AG, AH, AI, BI, CH, CI … from many possibles, 01246 turns out to be Chesterfield. I don’t know anyone in Chesterfield. I needed to duck out an listen to the voice mail: my replacement car was ready for delivery.

So Wednesday meant handing back Lima Charlie . The the number of the old car began “LC” which gave it an identity  not so much as a car but as a Peruvian drug dealer. The new car arrived having never been to Chesterfield. It was brought from Doncaster, (that would be an 0130x area code) with a  number starting SJ – meaning although it’s never been to Scotland, that’s where it was registered (Sx is scotland, Lx is London, Cx is Wales , Rx is Reading, Bx is Birmingham and so on). Sierra Juliet… it’s going to be a battle not to think of this car as “Big Julie” from Doncaster (I’d got Doncaster muddled up with Rotherham and was well on the road to thinking of the car as someone from Jamie Oliver’s new TV programme. She’d make an unlikely companion for Jacques Chirac). Fortunately the car gets an alter-ego: the number ends LR – Lima Romeo, another Peruvian either a tango instructor or a Mafia hit-man.

Since I’ve brought up those two towns, here are two Jeremy Clarkson related co-incidences; first he was born in Doncaster and trained as a journalist on the Rotherham advertiser… I glided home in a very agreeable silence –feeling like a French president who’d sent the chauffer home for the day. (Though I’m a bit better with the traffic laws than M. Sarkozy . Citroen’s trick suspension enabled DeGaulle’s DS to escape an Assassination attempt with two types shot out.).  I turned on the TV to find Dave showing The episode of Top gear where Clarkson raves about the C6. (My second Clarkson coincidence: with 100 plus episodes to show, they were showing that one.). He said it’s the kind of car which “that French actor, the one in Leon” would drive: sadly the actor is M. Reno which sounds enough like Renault for his choice of car to be pre-ordained. As a throw-away he says people would assume you were an assassin in a C6. 

Back at that on-line survey another question was I prefer to do things the same way over and over again. Ah yes 7 Citroens in 20 years. I brought in my CD single of Gary Numan’s Cars to play in the car on the way home. It’s been the first CD I played in each of my last 5 cars. I, Assassin is one of his Albums, and he has been diagnosed with Aspergers.

[Loop closed.]

This post originally appeared on my technet blog.

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